Skip to main content

Flirtatious Beginnings

I struggled through the eighth grade and eventually (through counselling and time) came to view my new town as home.  It was summer time again and since I was so old and mature (going into high school now) I was able to work the summer camp at the church.  I can remember it like yesterday.  The brownish/orangish grotesque carpet with the cream colored walls.  The hollow, three step stage that boomed with each child’s stomp.  The squeals and shrieks of kids playing four square.  The smell of crayons and unwashed bodies.  We were a few weeks into summer and it was the day that we all were looking forward to.  Water day!
“Hey check it out,” another “youth worker” called over to me.  I went to the window and saw what every 14 year old boy loves to see; girls in bikini’s.  I could see some friends of mine standing with a girl I didn’t know.  I remember being immediately struck by how wholesome and Godly she looked… Nah, just kidding.  I remember thinking she had a nice rack.  Crude I know, but it is the truth.  She was absolutely gorgeous and extremely attractive.  That was the first time I recall seeing my future wife.  Reflecting back on this memory fills me with utter terror, especially since our eldest daughter is rapidly approaching this age.
Another seed had been planted, another possibility had been birthed, another potential idea had been released into the world, and I was completely unaware.
Shortly after I became aware of the future mother to my children, she asked me if we could date.  I did not see it coming.  We were standing in the narthex of the church and she just came up and asked me.  I was paralyzed in fear.   We had talked and were forming the base of a friendship but I wasn't ready for any of this.  Wasn’t I supposed to ask her?  How could she just come up to me so confident?  OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING!  I knew I was taking too long and so I came up with the smoothest and best reason why we couldn’t date.
“I just don’t think I am ready to date anyone.  I am just so worried about this hurricane that is coming.”  Like I said, smooth.  The look on her face told me everything I needed to know.  It contained a blend of hurt, confusion, and awe at such a stupid response.  Surprisingly, she wasn’t disgusted with me and we remained friends.
Several months later, we had been flirting back and forth.  I had made sure we sat near one another at any chance.  We had attended several group outings with our friends and I would “as a good friend” would pick up the tab on her lunch.  I had it bad.  At some point I reached the decision that I was ready to ask her out on a date and unfortunately that  meant I needed to break up with my current girlfriend.  It was tough.  I had always been the person who was broken up with not the one who did the breaking, but I was smitten.  After I had become a free man I didn’t want anyone to think that I had dumped the old girlfriend for Courtney so I waited an obligatory month before I put my plan into motion.
It was her fifteenth birthday when I arrived at her door and asked her on a date to the most luxurious place I could afford, Applebee's.  To my delight she said yes and with that we officially began our love.

Lesson number 2: Friendship is important.  

Let me ask you a question.  If you were not “with” your husband/ wife/ significant other/ would you want to hang out with them?  As I explained earlier I was instantly attracted to Courtney, but love is more than attraction.  I wanted to know her before we started a relationship.  Nowadays, so many relationships begin with a swipe (and I am not saying that this is wrong) but I feel it is so important that you actually like the person you are with.  Courtney and I are very different.  I am a nerd.  I love gaming and reading and deep down I am an introvert.   She is a scientist, pet lover. and people person.  Although we are different we share so much in common and that, more than attraction, forms the base of our friendship.  We both have a love for God, commitment to each other and our family, love of humor and the outdoors.  This gives us fertile ground for our love to grow.
When things get tough, it doesn’t matter how attracted you are to your spouse, it is the friendship that acts as the bedrock that holds our relationship steady.  I can recall many times our relationship was tested especially after we were married.  An unplanned pregnancy, hospitalizations, debt, and the loss of loved ones were tough, but our friendship kept us liking each other in the midst of the difficult times.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Of course...

They say that writing is supposed to be therapeutic.  Today I found out that my brother is back in jail and I just needed to write my feelings.  I am not posting this for sympathy but maybe my words can help someone else who has someone they love who keeps making the same mistakes over and over again or maybe it will help the offender realize what they put their friends and family though when they don't change. D. A. Acevedo ***** I take a look at my phone and see an hour old text Call me as soon as you get this is all that it says Is Papi dead and has there been an accident These questions run though my head My finger shakes as I select dad’s name Of course… Your brother has been arrested He is back in jail I’m sorry I’m in a meeting I’ll call you when I am done My only reply is Of course… I am rather shocked that I don’t feel at all I expected some tears But he has acted odd Ever since his probation ended last month Something had been off Of course…
2 comments
Read more

I (can't) Stand Alone

American's praise the individual.  Men, especially, are pushed to be self reliant, quiet, loners.  We struggle to tackle life's problems ourselves without ever asking for help.  By doing this we are proving we are strong, right? “The word "We" is as lime poured over men, which sets and hardens to stone, and crushes all beneath it, and that which is white and that which is black are lost equally in the grey of it. It is the word by which the depraved steal the virtue of the good, by which the weak steal the might of the strong, by which the fools steal the wisdom of the sages.  -Ayn Rand We do it alone.  We pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.  We can blame no one but ourselves when we fail.  We achieve success by only caring for ourselves.  Right? Earlier this month I took time to get away with a group of men.  While we were spending time together we were learning some of what it means to be "Sons of Grace."  One of the biggest points I took
Post a Comment
Read more

Have a life filled with wonder.

Have a life filled with wonder. It is so easy to fall into a rut.  I get up, get the kids ready for school, drop them off, pick them up, eat lunch, put the kids down for nap, try to do homework, go to work or school, attempt to spend time with my wife, maybe watch a show, and then get a little sleep so that I can repeat it all again the next day. The weekend comes and I attempt to relax.  Rinse; lather; repeat. Before you know it it’s a week later and the to do boxes are mostly checked and everything starts over. I had a dream the other day that I had turned into a kid again.  In the dream I played and imagined.  I looked at the world and was filled with curiosity.  I didn’t know why flipping a switch turned on the lights, and it didn’t bother me.  I didn’t care about bills, car repairs, or what was happening on Facebook.  The biggest concern was whether or not we had any Totino’s Pizza for lunch.  As the saying goes, the world was my oyster. Levi building a repair station.
Post a Comment
Read more