The Passion

Recently I wrote a letter of intent for school.  

In it they wanted me to answer the simple question of why I want to become a nurse.  Writing that letter helped me put into words what I have struggled with my whole adult life; finding "the passion."  In books and movies and even on the news we see stories of people who find their calling and pursue it with the passion that burns within.  I've always looked up to those who know what they want and like a bloodhound tracking it's prey, they unerringly pursue it until the end.

I've witnessed "the passion" first hand in my father.  He likes to tell the story that in an architecture class he heard God calling him into ministry.  He gave up his car and his hometown to go to another state to pursue his calling to become a minister.  Later, after being married for only three months he returned to Kentucky to finish his degree and enter seminary. Some of my first memories were of my Father teaching youth about a God who loves them and wants to be in relationship with them.  I grew up seeing him hone his skills and gifts always pursuing his "passion."

I've also seen this in my brother as he passionately strives toward his two loves, good food and making music.  You can see his passion when he describes the food he creates from the sparkle in his eyes as he talks about glazes and reductions.  He has pushed himself to learn new skills in the kitchen by learning from others, taking their methods and making them his own.  Nathan was telling me the other day about his obsession with getting new music equipment such as synthesizers and repeaters.  His love of music has been apparent since he was in high school.  I remember one time when, on the day before a hurricane, he and his friends loaded up their equipment and headed downtown.  They would stop, quickly plug everything in and jam out a "rock you like a hurricane" only to break down and move to another spot to do it again.  Now he still pumps out music whenever he isn't cooking. You can listen to his latest electronic beat here.

And then there is me...

I have witnessed the passion in others first hand, but other than my passion for being a husband and father I never felt that relentless calling upon my life until relatively recently when I started on the path to becoming a nurse.  To properly understand why I have felt called to become a nurse you have to understand several things about me.  I am currently thirty five years old and have been married to my high school sweetheart for thirteen years.  Together we have four beautiful children aged ten, eight, five, and two.  For years I worked several jobs so that my wife could complete school and have our first few kids.  Up until that point work was just work; something to put food on the table.  After she completed school I knew it was my turn to go complete my degree, the only problem was I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  I had previously looked into teaching (because that is what mom does), ministry (because that is what dad does) as well as computer technology and none of those were the correct fit.  Nothing stirred the bloodhound inside me.  I had been feeling frustrated, aimless, and honestly depressed when I was encouraged to talk to a counselor about life in general.

It was there that we talked about who I was as a person.  She helped me realize that “what I did” didn’t define “who I was.”  We talked about how what was really important to me and what kind of things made that bloodhound lift its head.  She helped me realize that my greatest personal victories usually included one common theme which is that I have a heart for helping people.  I have been involved in disaster relief efforts, home construction for the needy, and serving the underprivileged.  I came to realize that I am at my best when I am helping those in need.  I have always had a heart for those that are hurting.  After several sessions she made a comment off the cuff that would change the direction of my life.  She asked, “Have you ever thought about nursing?”  I hadn’t but that one question planted the seed that led me to the path that I am currently on.

Dad and Me when I earned
my CNA licence.

I knew that completing a degree in nursing would take a while so to “test the waters” I went through a course in becoming a certified nursing assistant.  I was able to get a job at one of the local hospitals and for the last three years have been serving as a CNA on a medical surgery department.  During this time I started hammering out the prerequisites that I would need to pursue my nursing degree.  Every day that I work I relearn that although it is the most exhausting job I’ve ever had it is by far the most rewarding.  The bloodhound was stirring and the passion was finally burning.  

So what do I want you to take away from this?

I urge everyone to find a passion.  I know that most people's jobs are not like my father, that is, a calling placed on his life.  Your passion may not be your job and I need everyone to understand that that is okay.  One of my best friends, Christian, works as a correctional officer but his passion is writing.  You can check out his author page here.  When I was passionless I felt worthless.  I was spiraling in depression and it made me a worse husband and father.  Providing for the family and getting by just wasn't enough.  I needed something that fed the fires of my soul and urged me forward.  So write, draw, go camping, make music or barbecue, be bold, change jobs, just find something, anything, that you are passionate for and go for it.

Be the bloodhound and hunt your passion.